The Bunny Rabbit Parody
by drakemi'owne
Summary: It wasn’t the singing, or the dancing, or the fact that he has a devilishly perfect body that made Hermione’s mouth drop to the floor and her eyes to grow out of its sockets. DMHG! Sequel to BUNNY RABBITS. ENJOY!


**Author's note: This is a sequel to Bunny Rabbits so if you haven't read and reviewed that one please do so before reading this. Thank you so much. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot, J.K. Rowling does. **

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"Let me guess, you don't have the bunny rabbits on,"

"Will you stop it with the bunny rabbits?!" Hermione spat while working on her Arithmancy homework for next week. Draco was sitting leisurely over the sofa in front of Hermione cleaning his wand.

"I don't want to," He replied.

"And why is that?" Hermione looked up and shot daggers at him.

"Because I love seeing you get worked up and face flushed when I mention it," He smirked and wiggled his blonde brows at her.

"Ugh! For the love of Merlin!" She closed her notes and stomped to her door.

Draco laughed loudly until Hermione shut the door behind her. He turned to imagining the bunny rabbit bra Hermione was wearing the other day. Who would think that the mature Hermione Granger wore such garment? Draco hated to admit that it looked cute on her and nothing looks cute for a Malfoy. Cuteness is for the weak and Malfoys never settle for cute or adorable. They prefer the charming, the beautiful, the gorgeous, and the breath-taking. But no, he settled for 'cute' when it came to Granger.

He kicked the stool sitting in front of him, frustrated that Granger, out of all people, would make him feel this weak inside. The stool tumbled to its side and hit the side table where a lamp was situated. Before Draco could wave his wand the lamp crashed to the floor and the sound of breaking glass reverberated in the room.

"What was that?" Hermione asked, peeping through her door.

"I broke the lamp," Draco answered nonchalantly, waved his wand, _Reparo_, and the lamp was fixed.

"You always break things." Hermione stated before disappearing behind the door.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not clumsy," Draco thought for a while.

"Hey! Granger! I'm not clumsy!" He yelled through Hermione's door.

"_Stupid Granger. I'm not clumsy. Why'd she say such a thing?"_ He glared at the door and grabbed his things to his room.

Since it was a Hogsmeade weekend, the Great Hall was empty but for a few first and second years. Draco ate alone at the Slytherin table, glaring at any young Slytherin who dared share the long table with him.

Hermione just entered the Great Hall to grab something to eat before going to Hogsmeade with Harry, Ron and Ginny when she saw Malfoy all alone. She greeted some Gryffindor first years as she went for their table. She smiled here and there before she managed to get an éclair.

"Are you buying for a Ms. Congeniality award, Granger?" Draco called out from across the hall. He smirked when he got her attention.

"I'm not talking to you, Malfoy," Hermione said as she made her way out of the Great Hall.

"Oh, but you just did!" He placed the sliced chicken into his mouth after saying this. Hermione looked around at the Hall and saw that everyone was looking at them. She decided to walk up to Draco so that no one will hear what she was going to say.

"Why can't you stop being a jerk? I _cannot_ believe that I almost considered inviting you to come with us to Hogsmeade!" Hermione was so frustrated that she forgot the éclair she was holding. The poor bread was crumpled up and it didn't look anything like an éclair anymore. She only noticed this when she felt the filling oozing through her fingers. She stared at her hand clutching the bread and her eyes went wide.

"Ugh!" She grumbled and dropped the éclair on top of the Slytherin table beside Draco's plate and stalked off.

"I think I'll go with you," Draco took a quick sip from his goblet and followed Hermione who was feeling her pockets for a handkerchief.

"Get lost, Malfoy," Hermione stated.

"Here," Draco handed her a napkin politely. Hermione took the napkin and wiped her hand clean.

"Thanks. Now, get lost." Hermione said, throwing the wasted the napkin into a trash bin they passed by.

"Hermione!" Ginny waved as Hermione and Draco came into view. She, Harry and Ron were waiting outside the Hogwarts Gate.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Ron asked, spitting as he did so.

"Granger invited me," He placed his hands in his pockets and smirked at Ron while the three Gryffindors looked at Hermione questioningly.

"Ignore him. Let's go," Hermione commanded and they walked to Hogsmeade.

They entered the Three Broomsticks which was crowded with Hogwarts students buying something to munch on. They were lucky to see a vacant table at the very back of the shop but it only had three chairs.

"Go ahead Weaselette, sit down," Draco offered Ginny the nearest seat.

"Thank you," Ginny said and glanced at Hermione who shrugged. Draco left the four dumbfounded Gryffindors where they stood and went somewhere.

"What were you thinking, Hermione? Inviting that snake with us?!" Ron bursted while taking a seat next to Ginny.

"I didn't invite him! I told him I _almost_ invited him seeing him alone at the Slytherin table but never really intended to!" Just then Draco arrived with Madame Rosmerta right beside him.

"Mr. Potter, why don't you take a seat?" Madame Rosmerta offered. She flicked her fingers and three butterbeers appeared on the table.

"Enjoy!" She said brightly then grabbed Hermione's wrist and dragged her.

"See you later, Potter," Draco smirked at them before following Madame Rosmerta and Hermione. Harry stood up and blocked Draco's way.

"Where is she taking Hermione?" Harry asked, glaring at Draco who just shrugged and walked past him.

"Malfoy!" Harry called out.

"She's just looking for a vacant seat for Granger! Sheesh, Potter, what are you, her baby-sitter or something?" Draco said and left but Ron, Ginny and Harry followed him.

They saw Hermione sitting on a box at the back of the counter.

"Hermione? What are you doing there?"

"Madame Rosmerta told me to wait here." Hermione crinkled her nose as she tried figuring out why Madame Rosmerta would do that.

"You made her a helper? You're a real bastard aren't you?" Ron said charging onto Draco but Harry stopped him.

"What are you doing, Harry? Let me go! I'm going to kill him!" Ron shouted over the buzz of the people around them.

"Ronald! Stop it! Harry, please take him outside. It's embarrassing." Hermione pleaded. Ginny looked at Hermione who stood up from the box she was sitting on when Ron tried to punch Draco.

"I'll take care of this, Ginny. Go to your brother. I'll catch up with you." Ginny glanced at Draco who rolled his eyes and at Hermione's pleading face before nodding and dashing out of the Three Broomsticks.

Hermione grabbed hold of Draco's jacket and tried dragging him to the back door of the shop without any help from him. It took all of her strength to get him outside the alley and once they were there, Draco started walking away.

"Malfoy!" Hermione called out.

"I don't want to hear your sermon, Granger. Spare me, please." Draco drawled.

"So you really asked Madame Rosmerta to hire me? You jerk!"

"I figured you'd need extra money to buy decent underwear," Draco shrugged and looked around.

"You really go to great lengths just to see me humiliated, don't you? You hate me that much?" Hermione said and turned around to go back inside the Three Broomsticks.

"Have you asked yourself why I hate you, Granger?" He called out, hands in his pockets, staring directly at her back. Hermione turned to look at him only to see his serious face. She felt a lump in her throat when she saw Draco looking all serious but swallowed it and answered his question.

"I don't need to ask myself because I already know that the reason is because I'm a muggleborn witch who has better grades than you," Hermione stated this as a fact. Draco shook his head while smirking. He raised one finger as if counting.

"Number one, I do not hate you because of your blood. You do not have power over that. Number two (he raised a second finger), your grades are only better than mine by a mere nanometer because I do not study as hard as you do. You do not have Quidditch practice or Crabbe and Goyle who has only one neuron in their thick skull to lead around. You don't even have a proper social life. I have to keep Pansy busy every now and again. Ravenclaws are lined up at the Astronomy Tower to get to know me. See? I don't have as much time as you to go to the library and bury myself in a book. So, do you have other theories?" He crossed his arms across his chest and studied her. Hermione was biting her lip off trying to think of something.

"Stop doing that!" Draco suddenly ordered. Hermione jumped by the sudden outburst.

"Stop what?" Hermione asked. She forgot to be angry as she did so. Her heart was still thrumming inside her chest.

"You'll hurt yourself with that habit of yours. Stop biting your lip when you're thinking."

"And who are you to tell me what to do? You're just a spoiled brat who hates me for something I do not know," Hermione trudged to the back door of the Three Broomsticks, her hand already touching the knob.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that, maybe, I don't?" Draco muttered and walked back to the castle. Hermione's head snapped up to look at Draco but he was already gone and the door opened.

"Ms. Granger! I've been looking everywhere for you! You're table is ready. Where's Mr. Malfoy?" Madame Rosmerta said, looking around at the alley.

"T-table?" Hermione asked. Madame Rosmerta looked back at her and nodded.

"Yes, dear. He paid for a special table up at the balcony, said it was too crowded down here."

"Its okay, Madame Rosmerta, I have to go find my friends." Hermione said and walked away to find Ron, Harry and Ginny. She found them buying sweets from Honeydukes and joined them.

"Where's Malfoy?" Ginny asked Hermione once she came into earshot.

"Why are you asking for that git, Ginny? It's a good thing he's no where in sight. Who's he to try and make Hermione into someone's helper?" Ron stated. Hermione ignored what Ron said and faced the counter.

"I want some chocolate frogs and Berty-Botts Every Flavored Bean." Hermione told the lady on the counter.

"And a lollipop," She added.

"Let's go back to the castle after this; I have a meeting with the professors," Hermione told her friends.

"You go on ahead, Hermione. I want to buy something from Zonko's. Let's go, Harry." Ron said running down the path to Zonko's Joke shop.

"Here you go, Hermione. Sorry about earlier. See you at supper, okay?" Harry gave her a small box of chocolate doodles and went to catch up with Ron while Ginny stayed with her.

"He gave me one too," Ginny told Hermione. She was smiling exuberantly as she stared at the box.

"What could he have written in them?" Ginny asked Hermione.

"I don't know. Open it when we get back and jump on top of your bed while no one's around." Hermione suggested, giving Ginny a teasing smile.

When Hermione arrived at the castle she went straight to the Heads' Dormitory to change her clothes before supper. She noticed the absence of the Headboy and was thankful that he was not there. She went back to the Great Hall, sat down beside Ginny, Harry and Ron, and looked around at the Slytherin table. She saw him eating his steak leisurely.

The moment Hermione finished her food, she excused herself and glanced at the Slytherin table but Draco wasn't in his seat anymore.

"Where could that person be? I can't believe he's making me look for him minutes before our meeting with the professors!" Hermione muttered to herself. She was climbing the staircase back to their shared dorm and she could feel her legs aching.

Finally, she arrived in front of the portrait. She exhaled loudly before saying the password: "Boggart". The portrait swung open and she went straight to Draco's door.

"Malfoy? Are you there?" She knocked twice before turning the knob. The door was open but Draco was not there. She tried her room, just in case he wanted to try a prank on her, but it was empty. She turned towards the bathroom. She twisted the knob and opened the door.

"And I remember sharing lips with her

The coming weeks were to be a blur

'Cause time with her is like no other

She can make a winter's day feel like the summer

And it's oh so nice to have her alone-"

Hermione's mouth fell open, her eyes went wide as she stared at Draco Malfoy singing and dancing in his boxers.

It wasn't the singing, or the dancing, or the fact that he has a devilishly perfect body that made Hermione's mouth drop to the floor and her eyes to grow out of its sockets, no.

"Bunny rabbit boxers?!" Hermione suddenly found her voice and that was all she could say. She pointed at the boxers with an accusing finger and turned her face to Draco's.

Draco didn't even look embarrassed by Hermione's discovery. He just stared back at her, all the calmness in the world radiating from him.

"Don't you think it's funny? 'Cause you're my exact opposite, yet we're exactly alike." Draco told her but Hermione was still in shock. He started laughing and somewhere between his charming laughter, Hermione joined in.

Draco took a step near Hermione and lowered his face to hers.

"But, you hate me," Hermione rationalized.

"Don't you get it? I go to great lengths just to annoy you! So you could notice me," Draco explained.

"Why?" Hermione asked. Draco groaned and moved his face away from her.

"Because! vous avez été fait pour moi!" And he kissed her before she could ask any more questions.

Draco lifted his face for Hermione to catch a breath. When he did so, Hermione held his face with both her hands and looked at him straight in the eye.

"I don't speak French," Draco smiled as Hermione moved in to kiss him again.

END

vous avez été fait pour moi==== "you're made for me"

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**Author's note2: The song he was singing is entitled Time Well Spent by Tom Felton. Try listening to it, it's divine! And the chocolate doodles, i don't know if there's such a thing in the book, maybe I made it up. Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!!**

**P.S. i don't speak french so i used a translator in the internet. if it's wrong, please forgive me.^^**


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